Soul check: being still

These past few months have been a whirlwind.

You guys, this world just does not stop turning. (I realize this is not new information).

You’d think as a human and especially as a reporter that would stop surprising me.

It still stops me in my tracks.

The truth is I love my job, but this week I realized I’ve neglected my soul in an effort to pursue my day job, which I’m thankful to love.

I go into situations with good intentions and come out on the other side beat up like a tumbleweed on the side of the road.

(Maybe it’s this Ellensburg wind finally getting to my head, who knows).

In all seriousness, I’m a go-getter, but am very slow to establish boundaries in many areas of my life which leads to a crash-and-burn situation.

I’ve been here before.

Burnout is when you think you’re doing right by yourself by  paying your dues in your workplace, school, whatever it may be for you in this season of life you’re in but it happens to everyone. It’s part of our world’s culture, but it didn’t have to be part of mine or yours. And praise God this is true.

I’ve learned some things since this last happened and one of them is taking care of your soul.

I moved so often in college that I just stopped trying to settle in.

Because you know, if you just stop trying, you’d think maybe the next time it wouldn’t be so painful.

I didn’t realize how wrong I was until my community surrounded me with love and helped me move, no questions asked. Fam, for our souls to heal and feel, they need to be accessible.

This was such a huge kairos moment for me.

What I realized in this moment and what maybe you’ll realize after reading this, is we too often discredit ourselves from the abundance of blessings God desires to bestow upon us because we tell ourselves we’re too needy, or not ready… the list goes on and on.

There are many wonderful characteristics about God, but I think my all time favorite is that he doesn’t have baggage.

Like his Son, Jesus, he is holy and blameless. I love my community, and as much as I love them and they love me, only God can place those holy desires in my heart. No number of people, amount of talking or listening can replace being near and still to and with him.

Because community is such a good thing, it’s easy for the devil to sneak in like the serpent he is and and whisper that so long as we have people, maybe that can replace God.

Too often I’ve gone to my community first instead of my savior and praise God they’ve had the wisdom to remind me only God can change my heart. They haven’t said “oh yeah, I’ve been a Christian longer.”

The best community points you back to God. Again, and again and again.

The best community says no one ever said you had to go this alone. Or, these burdens, they’re self-inflicted.

Christ is not of this world which is why he makes the ultimate savior. He’s the only one who knows you and I better than ourselves.

 

The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still (Exodus 14:14)

 

You can be a fighter, and you should  put in the work, but at the end of the day, we need to be still and remember the battle has already been won.

 

For the first time in a long time, I let myself put down roots. I said no to fear bought some  furniture and signed a year long lease in Ellensburg.

It takes more than that to make a space a home, but after time and a lot of work, God showed me look at all you have, right here in front of you.

Don’t run away merely because you’re afraid of losing it.

I’m not talking about fear of physical objects. We all know a table is a table, etc. However, those things do help create a space to be still with God and see His faithfulness. 

My sister reminded me that wherever Jesus was when he walked this earth he created a space to go and talk to his Father. The disciples thought he was crazy and were constantly impatient with him, but he understood the value of that stillness no matter where he was he made time.

He understood things would always be crazy and the time would never be just right, but it was vital to his soul and to his ministry.

Living with one foot in the world and one foot with Jesus will never work because he tells us part of our identity in Christ is we are a holy people precious to God and he has called us to be set apart.