Talk to Me

I love conversations.

Contrary to popular belief, I have my moments where the I in my ISFJ-ness is imminent. But, this post isn’t about Meyers-Briggs test results. It’s about holding better conversations.

I kinda sorta really believe that social media is a horrible excuse for etiquette…just saying.

Talk to Me
Photography from CSUBlogs.com

Two signs of passivity:

1. Inserting “just saying” at the end of  a sentence. Sometimes, we  say things, but we don’t have the courage to be confident in what we say so somehow we think the phrase makes everything better.

2. Ellipses. I’m surprised at how many people don’t know this term so I suppose I should explain. And ellipses is three periods in a row. In a text have you ever had a lapse in the conversation where someone responds to something you’ve written says, well texts,something like this: “OK…..” or “Oh….” or “yeah…” and then the conversation just sort of ends there? And you feel kinda bad about yourself? Maybe it’s just me, but I kinda start to freak and out and typically assume I’ve said something to hurt his or her feelings? Either that or I feel frustrated because they are hinting that they have something to say but aren’t saying it.

3. “Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful.” Still trying to figure this one out.

Not clarifying comes in the form of:

1. Awkward silences.

2. Not addressing the awkwardness.

3. Not signaling the end of a conversation, once again it’s easy to not do over social media, but it’s still courteous. Especially over Facebook and texting.

4. Not following up. I see this a lot in friendships and deeper relationships. This is different from not signaling the end. “How?” You ask? You completely end the conversation without discussing when you’re going to talk again. Or you end by saying something such as “we should hang out soon.” This in and of itself is not bad, but it’s important to act upon these words.

Talk to me! What are your thoughts on conversing? What are some issues you see that I didn’t touch on How do you think we could improve our conversations?

-Kayla

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Pixie Perfect

I chopped off all my hair.

April 2014 photography by EdCC TritonLife.
April 2014 photography by EdCC TritonLife.

I thought about it for an incredibly long time, but if I’m really honest I was incredibly terrified.

I waited until the most opportune time, and sure enough, my school was doing a locks of love event.

I was scared, even though I knew it would grow back–if I wanted it too. I became even more scared when they sat me down in front of a mirror to do the ceremonial cutting of the pony tails.

It took chopping off all my hair to realize how incredibly hard it must be for men — women in particular–to lose part of their identity. Because whether we admit it or not, hair is something that defines us women and it’s part of what makes us feel beautiful.

I would never go so far as to say I now know how it feels to struggle with cancer or alopecia or other diseases or treatments which cause hair loss. But here’s to hoping that this experience, has broadened my perspective more and maybe increased my ability to empathize.

I don’t mean for any of my posts to inflict guilt, just provoke thought so take away what you will from the following: I believe in giving what we have. If I possess hair that grows back, but others do not, why should I not take advantage of such a wonderful opportunity to share my treasure that God has bestowed upon me?

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

3 Peter 3:3-4

P.S. I cut my hair all the way back in April of 2013. I kept pushing off this post because I was afraid I’d say the wrong thing. Don’t be afraid of telling stories. You are completely unaware of the wonderful actions your story could inspire.

Four Years, Four Lessons

@Kayla Nicole
Louisa and I

Today marks four years since a devastating earthquake demolished Haiti, a country already deep in poverty and full of economic woes. In the summer of 2012, this country taught me four lessons I will never forget.


Love

Today I realized that actions speak louder than words. The language barrier must be broken down by finding new ways to communicate. 

If I speak in tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love I gain nothing.

1st Corinthians 13:1-3

Journal entry from July 25, 2012.

Thankfulness

Every time I think of Windy,  he reminds me to be thankful and value every single second of every minute, every hour, every morning, every evening, every night, seven days a week  of every single month of the year.

I took away many things from Windy, but the most important thing I learned is to value life. To value every second of every day. I was convicted strongly when I thought of all the HOURS I’ve spent worrying and not doing. Even during this time of sickness he [Windy] refused to be anxious. 

Journal entry from July 26, 2o12.

Faith & Trust

My friend, lets me tell you something, when you already say God has control, your bad situation gets worse or even you saw you are in front of death; you must say you are good in Jesus’ name. And God will say you have faith say you have faith in him. So my friend, I am very good in Jesus Christ.

Windy’s favorite bible verse was Exodus 14: 14 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.Windy was a ddisciple, servant,pastor, teacher, friend, brother, son,student, Kirk Franklin fan, father to the fatherless, pastor, EMT, founder of the Jehovah Nissi school in Cite Soleil, dreamer. 

Windy Sauver,  March 22nd, 1985-December 9th, 2012

Thank-you Windy for teaching me to see the beauty in the broken.

Some Days It Rains

IMG_0009

There are days when bus stops are no fun.

But still, you drag yourself  on and on.

Lectures are taught when the sun is  behind shrouds of clouds.

The coffee isn’t strong,

And your tea  is not hot, but nonetheless, you step out the door to whatever lies

Beyond.

Sweaters are too bulky, particularly around the cuff.

Parking lots are still empty,

Some students seem tipsy.

Your brain is still fogged–

It shows right there on your blog.

Words not coherent ‘n’ all that good stuff.

Socks aren’t quite long enough,

and rain-boots too squeaky,

You find yourself thinking of your trip to Waikiki.

It’s the first week of classes, don’t forget your school passes, bus passes, or glasses!

The Coffee

The Girl With the Purple Pen

but first, coffee
http://vestidinhosecalcoezinhos.blogspot.pt/2013/06/ora-vamos-la-isto.html

**The Coffee**

I’ve tried. Tea is bearable. I’m not biased. Sometimes I boil water in my room and brew a strong cup of tea. Typically, I only feel so inclined when I’m sick. Only then do I believe in the power of extra vitamin c, additional supplements, cold medicine. You name it. My conclusion that if I believe the stuff actually works then I’ll overcome whatever bug it is that has inhibited my body.

Coffee is where it’s at. Like others, my college budget doesn’t allow for a  four dollar  latte from Starbucks every day. That kind of reckless spending is hardly economical. That’s fine with me. I can do with another leisure: my Keurig coffee maker. One of the best birthday presents throughout my twenty years. Most people don’t need the extra calories pumped into most drinks elsewhere. And yet, on the rare occasion I treat myself—often out with a friend—I still laugh when they order a regular cup of Joe. I mean, for all I care, we could have just enjoyed a cup of coffee in my dorm. That’s just how my brain works. I’m practical and frugal.

There is an analogy between the coffee and my writing. My writing, the writing I share with social media anyways, is a compilation of thoughts similar to discussions I’ve had over coffee. The range of topics is broad. Occasionally, I meet with a friend to say “farewell for now. Enjoy your adventures globetrotting. Other times I find myself in deep theological discussions. Often, the theme is hardly complex. Small talk at best. “How is school?” “How is work?” “How is your relationship with that special guy of yours?” Coffee Shop Talk. The atmosphere in most coffee shops I’ve run into are welcoming. Mostly laid back—well, except for maybe those that are within a 3 mile radius any mall. Hardly formal. Definitely energetic.
This ideology is what gave me the inspiration to start my blog. I wanted a platform where I could be wrong. Make mistakes. Leave behind my grammar Nazi tendencies. And hopefully, make an impact. Be it big or small. This is my exhortation. If you are able to carry a conversation over a cup of hot liquid, I do not doubt your ability to write. One must not write to be known, but understood.

“I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.”
Flannery O’Connar

I don’t mean to bore you. Rather, I desire to inspire you to begin your own adventure. In all honesty, life in words is may seem dull at first. But then, you look back on that first page you wrote. Your thoughts will probably vary. You may laugh, you may cry, you may feel inspired. I never write to grab the attention of a highly esteemed audience. Elite wordsmiths. That group is small. Ordinary people do extraordinary things. They are the ones who take risks. This group doesn’t let the burden of conformity shape their voice. I raise my mug of coffee—your choice of drink is entirely up to you—to the underdogs, the creators of mistakes, the adventurers, the risk-takers, the beginners, the aspiring wordsmiths, the coffee drinkers and tea drinkers. May you take note of the people and experiences who become a part of your writing adventure.

The Girl With The Purple Pen

A little bit of fiction, to kick off  31 days of writing. My 500 Words is a challenge created by Jeff Goins.  It’s intended to inspire daily writing habits among writers in all stages.

Chapter 1: The Girl With The Purple Pen

**About Me**

It’s a nickname unheard of among most college students. I accepted it. It was in no way offensive. In fact, I take it as a compliment. I am indeed the girl with the purple pen. Like most names, there is a story behind it. My favorite color is purple. My real name is Brittney. However, most people call me Brit. Naturally, I feel inclined to pen my thoughts with this seemingly majestic ink. Few students in my field have such a strange fetish. However, nothing motivates me quite so much as the flow of fresh ink across a Moleskine journal–another leisure I sometimes indulge myself in. 

  I’m a communications major. Journalism and Media Production, to be more specific, is my area of expertise. A dying art. Pursued by few.The internet has already occupied the jobs of more than a few  journalists.   Even fewer who pursue it are successful. I’m considering a minor in professional writing. You know, something I can do outside of my 8am-5pm job. A hobby that could possible help with the student loans I will inherit once I’m on my feet. My goal is to pay them off  before I presumably get married, have children, all that jazz. 

In the summer of 2012, I found myself in Port-au-Prince Haiti. A location desired by few high school students. It was there, I knew I wanted to write. I shared my experiences via a  blog and was told “hey, you’re not half bad at this.” My travels were really a turning point. Kake, Alaska, Tijuana, Mexico,  and Port-Au-Prince Haiti make for some pretty exciting adventures. They aren’t your typical vacationing spots. But I wasn’t there on vacation. All three times I was there for relief work. This purpose opened my eyes to instance I like to call “beauty in the broken” experiences.

In Haiti, I first became aware of beauty in the broken. Life in death. Joy in the most depressing of places. Sweet music in streets filled with political riots. Hope in a land wrecked with economic strife, uncertainty,  and violence. I’ve found that most people don’t understand to the full extent what I’m trying to say, where I’m going with all of this. Third world countries open your eyes to things which we are otherwise blind to in filthy rich America. Believe it or not, being well off has it’s downsides.

Anyhow, in Mexico and Haiti, I kept a consistent journal. Not your typical entries i.e. “This morning I woke up and had Cheerios for breakfast.” Not that there is anything wrong with this information. In fact, it’s where I started out. I’d like to think I’ve made progress since then, but I some days are less exciting than others, and that’s OK. Many new writers are discouraged by this. I’ve been trying to emphasize to my friends and family that it’s not about what  you write, it’s just important you write at all. Even those who right for a living didn’t wake up one day knowing they were going to write a bestseller.

I’ve been writing for quite a while. I tried my hand in the field as early as elementary school with the typical “dear diary” entries. Didn’t we all? Some of us develop a habit, of it, others don’t.

**About The Roommates**

They’re an odd bunch, but not too Crazy. Emily is up there with the STEM people. In other words, her major is math related and there are times when I wonder if she’s related to Einstein. She’s not so math oriented that I can’t hold a conversation without her going on about how much she loves functions. She’s human, and for that I’m grateful.  I’m not quite sure how I got paired up with her. The math, the thinking, I just don’t get it. We have a deal. I’ll help her with words if she’ll help me with my poor technology skills. Thus far, the arrangement has worked out pretty well.

Lizzy is down to earth. She’s part of the Communications College like me. We have a couple prerequisites together this quarter. You might say she’s my study buddy. We may not see eye to eye on everything, but our one common  thread is this: we all love what we do and we want to do it well. That’s good enough for me. I’m not gonna lie, I’d heard enough horror stories about bad roommates, that I’d nearly given myself a complex waiting to hear back after submitting my housing application. So, I was relieved to hear that in spite of my awkward tendencies, I’d been placed with people who won’t judge me.

Welcome to my crazy life. I hope you enjoy the ride.

2013: A Year In Review

Facebook doesn’t accurately highlight my year. Not everything that happened was declared in a status.,

32 Things I learned in 2013:

  1.  Graduation ceremonies are overrated.
  2.  I’m a very horrible party planner.
  3.   AOSS (Awkward Older Sibling Syndrome) is a very real and prevalent disease.
  4.  Summer quarter is no fun.
  5. Handwritten letters are a dying art. I’m still struggling to enter the twenty-first century.
  6. “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward” is a true statement. That being said, I’m guess awkward is my specialty.
  7.  I’m an ISFJ.
  8.  Starbuck’s Peppermint Mocha is starting to taste like toothpaste.
  9.  Spontaneous trips to Chipotle with the siblings will be missed.
  10.  Facebook debates are immature.
  11.  Skype is probably my favorite technology.
  12.  Time and distance are the ultimate tests of friendship.
  13.  Awesome friends ask you challenging questions.
  14.  Chivalry is not dead.
  15.  I don’t recommend procrastinating on essays that are worth 10% of your grade unless you work well under pressure. (Thankfully, I do most of the time).
  16. Textbooks are expensive.
  17. God is very good to me.
  18. We have so many things to give.
  19. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness.
  20. If you want to hear God, you need to listen.
  21. Many people won’t agree with you.
  22. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry too much.
  23. Small acts of kindness have huge impact.
  24. God has a strange way of placing people in our lives. Sometimes it takes awhile to discover why they’re there.
  25. “EVERYONE” and “I’M THE ONLY ONE” are some of the most destructive phrases.
  26. Miracles happen.
  27. My sister picks out good Christmas trees.
  28. I don’t like being an adult.
  29. It’s OK to let go of those autographed Jump 5 posters.
  30. AT&T is annoying.
  31. His mercies are new everyday, not January 1st.
  32.  I cannot function without coffee in the morning.

Also in 2014:

  1. I chopped off all of my hair and donated it to Locks of Love.
  2. I graduated from Highschool.
  3. I got accepted to Washington State University. Go Cougs!
  4. Remembered  Windy<—read his story!
  5. Started this blog!
  6. Drank coffee with some pretty great people.
  7. I went 107 days without a single seizure.
  8. I had a successful  surgery .

I’ve always been somewhat on the fence about New Year’s resolutions. Nonetheless, here are some things I want to be more consistent in! (Not just in 2014).

  • Joy. In the worst of times, and in the best of times.
  • Writing.
  • Reading.
  • Pursuing God. He pursued me first! Before I knew Him, He wanted me? Why? Because our God is full of grace.
  • Love more.
  • Worrying LESS.

Have a fantastic New Year! I hope to see and hear from you during Coffee Shop Talk 🙂

-Kayla-

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