Heavy laden

*Do excuse my ramblings*

I serve.

I  serve people.

I  serve an extraordinary God.

Through serving with Isaiah 58, a homeless ministry based in downtown Seattle, I’ve learned that when you feed people food, you feed their souls, not their stomachs. It’s true. Come join me sometime and you will see.

Incredible.

I don’t know how else to describe the experience. While I don’t know most of these people’s stories, I wager that they’re lives are broken. Like mine. Their lives aren’t broken because of their homelessness or their unemployment or their hunger or their lack of material wealth. But because deep inside each and every one of us is a stubborn, independent nature.  They carry their homes on their backs. Literally and figuratively. They long for one whose yoke is light. But like most of us, forget that there is already one who has offered to ease the weight and tension.

These people are  thirsty for eternal life. Hungry for the Jesus who loves them with a love so intense and passionate that we will never comprehend it.

I hunger and thirst for these things too.

I marvel at how such a perfect being could love me, as insignificant as I am. And then there is the baggage that I carry. Both emotional and physical. Someone in my math class said to me the other day, “wow Kayla, I never realized how huge that bag looks on you.”

He was talking about my backpack of course, but I wondered, could this be a reflection upon my lack of  dependence?

I must admit, I’ve been living out of the bag that carries all of my burdens. I naively believe that I’m able to do it all. Inside this bag  contains some regrets, my broken past, fragments of my crushed heart and a load of insecurities.  In addition to those things, are textbooks and to do lists.  At the bottom is my Bible. I carry it with me, but I don’t crack it open as often as I should. It’s more of an extra weight than the uplifting, filling, soul food that it’s meant to be.

A lifeline. That’s what God’s Word is. A reminder of how even the best of people—including  Jesus Himself—struggled as much as myself.

The wonderful news is that I don’t have to. Where in the bible does it read

Rule #1: Must carry pack around at all times. Be sure it is filled to the brim and ripping at the seams.

Why do I forget this so often?  Isn’t sitting up on the clouds shaking his head down at me saying “tsk, tsk, Kayla is such a pathetic human being.” I am weak, but I am continually valued and treasured. God is not looking to smite me. Certainly he wouldn’t have sent his son to die for me if that were his intention.

Our sweet Jesus uses those fragments  like shards of glass and bits of pottery to create a beautiful mosaic–each piece a testament to our stories of healing.

Lay your burden down at the feet of the Potter who desires nothing else than to lift whatever it is weighing down our spirits.

-Kayla