“Can we all just get along?” Rodney King asked that question in 1991 and it embodies the sentiments of many people still today.
Actually, yes we can. The real question is “will we?”
Some people are under the impression that drama and gossip only ever occur in high school. This could not be farther from the truth. Graduation is more like an opportunity to act mature and all grown up. You see, there is this myth out there that the day after you graduate high school, you wake up a sage old soul full of wisdom “beyond their years.”
Now, just to be clear, this open letter isn’t meant to be a passive message. In fact, passivity is something I’d like to address in this post. I never intend to use any of my blog posts as a form of vengeance. So. That being said, think what you will. Much drama that I’ve witnessed first hand or second-hand is worsened because of passivity. I think the best definition of passive in this case is this 2. not involving visible reaction or active participation. It’s often “subtly” or “indirectly” hinting that so-and-so (supposedly) said or did something.
1. Don’t be a passive. Especially on social media. Save yourself the heartache of blowing up something that’s already a problem. I believe venting can be healthy. However, it requires the right place, time, and if you’re not writing it down in a journal, as I often do, the right person. When I say the “right person” it’s usually someone who has gone through the same thing, but with different people. Otherwise you’re just throwing a gossip party–not something that’s typically healthy or constructive.
2. To keep it simple, if you hear something about someone, don’t be naive and believe everything you hear. Go to the person who is the subject of all the controversy. I’m no statistician, but I can almost guarantee that most of what you’ve heard is either completely a lie, or blown out of proportions.
3. Remember: you can’t take back what you say or don’t say for that matter. You could be a positive. Also remember that social media is a whole new level of bad. Social Media is another post in itself.
4. It doesn’t matter if a rumor is true or not. It isn’t your business.
5. Another myth. Just because you aren’t the one talking, doesn’t mean you aren’t partaking in the gossip.
6. On that note, it does matter that you find it in you to say “Hey, you know what guys? I don’t want to be a part of this conversation. There are better things to talk about.” The decision to be the person in your friend circle is hard. But it’s totally worth it.
7. Saying, “ugh. I’m so tired of drama” is kind of claiming superiority over those who are dramatic. Ironically, you more often than not come off as dramatic as well.
As I like to say, “if it bothers you, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.” It’s much more effective than writing a Facebook status or Tweeting your feelings of frustrated.