Ayiti Ap Dekole: Part 2

Day 6 Thursday, July 26: Debrief

Praise: somehow, I managed to acquire at LEAST three hours of sleep!

I took a cold shower before going to bed, and I firmly believe clean sheets played a huge part in helping me relax more. Praise Jesus for prayers answered!

Image taken from http://www.abovetopsecret.com

Today, was a very refreshing day. Although we were all very sad to have ended Vacation Bible School at the orphanage in Port-au-Prince, we looked forward to whatever plans God had in store. On our “day off,” we celebrated two birthdays on our team. Luke turned 19, and one of our leaders turned fifty-something. In the morning, four of our team members went to the Jehovah Nissi School in Cite Soleil. It was unfortunate that the entire team couldn’t go, but our team leaders Jeff and Terry promised our parents and team leaders to keep us safe. Anywhere we go, we tend to stick out like a sore thumb. Taking such a huge risk with our first youth team just didn’t seem to be a wise idea.

Ti- Papi arrived late with our rental and so all of our plans were delayed, but not really changed. We had a lot of time in the morning before our day really started.

We ended up leaving around 10:00 am to go to Club Indigo in Montrouis. A.K.A the Caribbean!!! Since we weren’t sure how long our team members in Cite Soleil would be delayed, we decided to take a head start to our beach destination.

The two-hour drive in the Tap-Tap was just plain fun. We have seen so much in a mere four full days. It’s pretty incredible. As we inch ed closer to the beach, “houses” became few and far between. The land was still poor, but at long last, on this lonely road, we found two distinct lanes on the road!

First things first at Club Indigo: Food. The system they have set up is really confusing. You tell the person taking orders what you want to eat–simple enough. Then, you pay. Each order bought equals a certain number of tickets. So instead of just buying food, or a drink from the snack bar, you must make sure you have the correct number of tickets. Due to the lengthy process, we weren’t able to eat right away.

We basically found the closest shade and beach chairs and ran to the water. I dove straight in. This was a poor decision on my part. The water, though  cold and refreshing, was by far the saltiest water my poor eyes had ever made contact with. Once I had recovered from my hasty immersion, I gazed out across the waters. The cloudless sky and transparent water almost melted together.

I love trying new things. Fresh coconut was an awesome “first.”412515_4272218093429_1651764971_o (1)

After we had all absorbed our first views, we trekked a little farther down the beach to satisfy our hunger. After much more confusion, we presented our tickets at the snack bar and retrieved meals for everyone on our team.  I ate a very interesting sandwich. It was satisfying, but very peculiar compared to every other ham sandwich I had previously consumed.

We sang the happy birthday song to Luke and Terry. I love Windy. He is just so adorable. He calls Terry his mom. After much convincing, he went all the way into the water. He blew bubbles and attempted to swim. He did so well!! He ate French fries, a hamburger, and a chicken nugget. All for the first time. H e really loved that chicken nugget though. 🙂 Every time I think of Windy, he reminds me to be thankful and value EVERY SINGLE SECOND of every minute, every hour, every morning, every evening, every night, seven days a week of all the twelve months that make up a year.

After eating, we moved even farther down to find some umbrella shade. The sand was far to hot to lay on, even with a towel. This one of many problems Washingtonians never face.  Despite the brief shade, I burned, but in the moment, it felt incredible.

Our ride home was delayed by a blown tire in the Tap-Tap. Windy handles these little incidents so well. While our drivers sorted through the situation and we figured out who would ride where, Windy was found dancing in the street, head phones on,seemingly oblivious to the world, and listening to Imagine Me by Kirk Franklin.

The team arrived home–Heartline very quickly became home to me. Rachel found a dead gecko on her bed. First we thought  it was fake, then we discovered it felt and looked pretty legit. It crawled up on Rachel’s bed and just died. Alex picked it up and put it in a cup. From then on we didn’t really know what to do with it. I took it and thought about how to dispose of it ceremoniously. Claire came out of our room and we made eye contact. At exactly the same moment we thought of something brilliant. “PUT IT ON LUKE’S BED!” We started laughing to hard and made a failed attempt to prank him. We were too loud and then we worried we had put it on the wrong bed–not a risk we wanted to take with a complete stranger. Luke took it and put it out on outside railing. We told Melissa about it later and she said “Is it still there? It’s kinda gross, but my cat loves geckos and lizards.

We ate dinner, ate some delicious cake homemade by Melissa, chilled out, and then slept.

The best part about today was blessing our drivers and translators with this trip. None of them had been to this beach! It is a luxury they would not have otherwise been able to indulge in. To enjoy bonding with Ti-Papi, Jonas, Esther, and Rodney have fun with us was awesome. There are so many things–both big and small– that can impact a person’s life forever.

Day 7 Friday, July 27

Today was busy, busy, busy! Our first destination: a visit through the heart of Port-au-Prince to see Jo Jo the artist. On our way to Jo Jo’s, we had originally planned to stop by the presidential palace in the heart of Port-au-Prince. However, not even our drivers, locals, felt comfortable taking us close enough to climb out and take pictures. If my research is correct, there was a festival called the Carnival of Flowers occurring. If I HEARD correctly, the last time this festival occurs there was a shooting. All that being said, we decided to avoid the masses.

Ever new person I encounter here in Haiti has a unique story. Jo Jo is a very inspiring person. His testimony is outstanding. Jo Jo was born with no arms and no legs. His mother dropped him off at an orphanage. The lady who cared for him FORCED him to persevere and find a purpose. His journey began when he started painting with a brush strapped firmly to his stump of an arm.

Jo Jo grew up in a home for disabled persons where he now works on staff. He speaks nearly perfect English and has been to the States multiple times as a motivational speaker. Jo Jo has personally met the president of Haiti and his wife and presented them with one of his paintings. He is a Haitian celebrity.

There are roughly 1,500 in and out patients at the home. The patients’ disabilities are so varied. Some are quadriplegics, paraplegics, blind, deaf, mentally ill, and have had limbs amputated.

We brought Jo Jo a whole pile of art supplies. Canvases, water colors, brushes, water-color paper, and acrylic paints. Being given the opportunity to paint in the same room with him was truly incredible. To save paper, the team members wanting to paint shared pieces of paper. My partner chose to observe rather than participate. This meant I had an entire, empty piece of paper all to myself.

I struggled long and hard to decide what I would attempt to paint. For inspiration I began searching through pictures on my camera. I began with a picture I had snapped at Indigo Beach– a single palm tree. Going off of this as my focus point, I painted a picture of me holding Louisa’s hand. Louisa is a young girl–about six– from Pastor Silar’s orphanage who stuck close to my side for all three days of VBS. In this picture–see my previous post–I successfully indicated to her that Jesus loves her so much, and so do I. No words were used. Just a simple action of joining my hand with hers to form a heart. Because of my poor painting skills, I filled the inside of the heart with red to emphasize that it was a heart. To finish my work, I painted the Haitian and American flag side by side–a symbol that two vastly different countries may indeed work together.

I felt gratified with my finished product, regardless of all its imperfections. Sure, I’m no artist, but at least it means something to me. I titled my picture “Beauty in the Broken.” There is beauty even in a place as broken as Haiti!

Jo Jo’s pictures are incredible! If I had brought more money–a LOT more money, I totally would have bought one. One painting in particular caught my eye because of its intricate details. Jeff inquired how long the painting took to start and finish. Jo Jo answered nonchalantly, “three days.”

We brought Jo Jo a whole pile of art supplies. Canvases, water colors, brushes, water-color paper, and acrylic paints. Being given the opportunity to paint in the same room with him was truly incredible. To save paper, the team members wanting to paint shared pieces of paper. My partner chose to observe rather than participate. This meant I had an entire, empty piece of paper all to myself.

I struggled long and hard to decide what I would attempt to paint. For inspiration I began searching through pictures on my camera. I began with a picture I had snapped at Indigo Beach– a single palm tree. Going off of this as my focus point, I painted a picture of me holding Louisa’s hand. Louisa is a young girl–about six– from Pastor Silar’s orphanage who stuck close to my side for all three days of VBS. In this picture–see my previous post–I successfully indicated to her that Jesus loves her so much, and so do I. No words were used. Just a simple action of joining my hand with hers to form a heart. Because of my poor painting skills, I filled the inside of the heart with red to emphasize that it was a heart. To finish my work, I painted the Haitian and American flag side by side–a symbol that two vastly different countries may indeed work together.

Jo Jo and I
Jo Jo and I

I felt gratified with my finished product, regardless of all its imperfections. Sure, I’m no artist, but at least it means something to me. I titled my picture “Beauty in the Broken.” There is beauty even in a place as broken as Haiti!

Jo Jo’s pictures are incredible! If I had brought more money–a LOT more money, I totally would have bought one. One painting in particular caught my eye because of its intricate details. Jeff inquired how long the painting took to start and finish. Jo Jo answered nonchalantly, “three days.”

The Inspiration of a Left Gifted Hand

@ Luke White Photography
@ Luke White Photography

This is what reads on Carlot “Carl” Dorve’s business card. As we were about to leave the disabilities center, Carl meandered his our way playing his beautiful trumpet. Carl studied at the most esteemed music school in Haiti–I have yet to learn the name of this school. He now studies at Michigan state university. Carlot “Carl” Dorve. As we were about to leave, Carl meandered his our way playing his beautiful trumpet. Carl studied at the most esteemed music school in Haiti–I have yet to learn the name of this school. He now studies at Michigan State University. I watched a You Tube video to learn a little more about him. Seeing that at the time this picture was taken, I knew nothing more than his name. What stood out to me the most, is that Carl lost his arm when he was five. He started playing the trumpet AFTER he lost his arm. I took a double take at my notes to make sure I didn’t mess up the order of events.

I gained some wise words from his video: “Making progress, or being able to do something is a state of mind.”

Next Stop

From Port-au-Prince, our final destination was Grand Goave. Grand Goave is located in a more mountainous part of Haiti. Our business there was to visit an orphanage in the making. It’s name is Be Like Brit (BLB) Orphanage. The story behind BLB is long, but I’ll attempt to summarize without leaving out any important details.

Brit Gengel died in the earthquake. She was visiting with her school, Lynn University. According to her mother, she had been in Haiti only one full day before the earthquake submerged the country into chaos. Brit’s body was missing for 33 days before her remains were uncovered. Brit fell in love with the country and told her parents she wants to start an orphanage. In a call to her parents just three hours before the earthquake occurred, she said

“They love us so much and everyone is so happy. They love what they have and the work so hard to go nowhere, yet they are all so appreciative. I want to mover here and start an orphanage myself.”

I’m going to be completely honest, this made me feel quite conflicted. According to American standards, this may be true. Haitians aren’t going anywhere. However, their value’s: faith, trust, joy, and hope for a seemingly unsolvable wreck of a country, get’s them a lot farther in the big scheme of things. With these virtues and with God, anything is possible!

Brit’s parents, CherylAnn and Len Genegal are building a $1.2 million dollar orphanage. The finished product will be 19,000 square feet. [The building is now complete]. Throughout the layout of the orphanage there are a lot of interesting symbols. The building is in the shape of a “B.” Even with all of this space, they will only house 66 children-33 boys and 33 girls.  This symbolizes the days it took to recover Brit’s body. Throughout the building CherylAnn spoke of flat screen TV’s and advance medical technology. While there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with any of these revolutionary features and the Genegal’s intentions are pure, Americanizing Haitian children does not do much for them in the long run. There are no distinct social classes except these: poor, poorer, and poorest. Leaving Haiti is practically impossible. In order to be eligible for a green card t the states, you must either be engaged to someone there or be in possession of legit medical and legal documents.  Considering applying for a green card is pretty much the only reason you might need any of these things, most don’t have them.

What frustrated me the most–what didn’t seem fair, is that the resources and space they have is unlimited. Pastor Silar has more than 66 kids in his home. In fact there are so many kids that he and his wife cannot even sleep in their own house! Instead, if they do indeed sleep, they sleep in a tent. My prayer for BLB is that the Lord’s will would be done. I send out my condolences to the Genegal family. Their influence in Haiti has the power to to amazing things in Haiti.

After we finished touring the construction site, we traveled even higher in the mountains to absorb the breathtaking view. It was incredible. No picture could ever capture the feeling of looking out across this beautiful city. After a long day, we headed “home” to Heartline. More to come on Haiti! I thought simply two posts could cover my trip–I was very wrong. One day in Haiti equals a few days in the States.

@Kayla Nicole
@Kayla Nicole

More to come on my extraORDINARY trip to Haiti in 2012!

Kayla

Ayiti Ap Dekole: Part 1

Ayiti Ap Dekole: Haiti Moving Forward.

In addition to supporting me prayerfully and financially, before leaving to Haiti, my Great Aunt Lela gave me one of the best gifts: a brown leather sketchbook/journal. On the very first page, she wrote these words: “Have a Great Trip–go safely– Kayla Koala

  • Pencil it
  • Ink it
  • Sketch it
  • Doodle it
  • Scribe it
  • Paste it
  • Tape it
  • Stuff it
  • A place to record your fine history”

I feel as if my work in Haiti is not finished. I left the empty pages in hopes that through me, God will fill them with new adventures.

The Team

Jeff, Geoff, Luke, Samuel,Terry, Brianna, Kenzie, Kaki, Claire, Emily, Rachel,  Alex, and myself.

The Team
The Team

Date of Departure: Saturday July 21st, 2012

I don’t bother going to bed earlier than usual the night before a trip. I figure I’ll either be too excited to sleep or I won’t sleep at all because of my sleep insomnia.

Thankfully, I slept last night. I am glad I didn’t try going to bed early. I wouldn’t have slept at all! I woke up at 7:30 am this morning–I set an alarm. I passed time doing as much as I could. I took a walk with mom, did my chores, took a shower, did random stuff in my room, ate lunch etc. Spent a lot of time on Facebook [what a time waster]. 

I really wanted to Skype with my best friend Ashlie before I left. At the time she was in Newcastle, Australia studying at the Creative DTS YWAM. YWAM stands for Youth With A Mission. However, when you’re roughly 7,686 miles apart, communication can be challenging. Facebook and Skype are convenient, but they don’t replace face-to-face interaction. We had previously appointed a time for this day to log onto Skype. Although she hadn’t answered my Facebook message, at the allotted time I logged onto Skype hoping she would be there. Instead of hearing her sweet voice, I wrote her an extended e-mail of a letter I could not figure out how to send. 

I ate an early dinner with the twins. My brother and sister, Mason and Mackenzie were turning thirteen the next day (Sunday) and so we tried to arrange an early celebration. Mom wanted dinner to be ready by 4:30 pm, but dad put the Kabobs on the grill a little late. I had to leave the party a little early. I was nervous about arriving to the church on time. Thank-fully, we made it. (Somehow we always do). 

I gave Terry my affidavit and then we prayed with Pastor Hilario and all the family members who came to say goodbye.  Usually the trip to the airport takes forever, but this trip went by pretty fast. Dr. Bob was our shuttle driver. It was pretty convenient for him. His daughter Cassie was coming home from England later that evening after we took off so he was just gonna chill out. 

I remember on the SERVE MEXICO trip to Tijuana, the airport was packed–we took a morning flight to LAX. Tonight, we checked our luggage and received our tickets pretty quickly. Thankfully, I didn’t have any trouble going through security. My VNS* is always a concern. The only thing they had to confiscate out of my bag was a Kirkland water bottle I forgot to drink it beforehand. They asked about my magnet, but as soon as I asked them what it was, they didn’t ask anymore questions.

We found our terminal and then went to go get food. I had already eaten dinner, but I caved and bought chocolate milk. It wasn’t long before loading time came around. After switching seats with Samuel, my original seat partner, I ended up squished against a window with a nice couple who brought their rat–sorry, dog– along with them. Not the greatest exchange, but I lived. Unfortunately, rather than packing Tylenol PM, I packed Melatonin. I was counting on the former to help knock me out. 

Sleep wasn’t an option, I ended up watching most of the movie “A Thousand Words” starring Eddie Murphy. Had he not been the main character, the movie would have been a COMPLETE flop and not just a flop. I also took this sleepless time to read my bible and journal a little bit.

VNS- Vegas Nerve Stimulator, it’s like a pace maker for the brain.

Day 2–Sunday, July 22nd: Miami-Port-au-Prince

Well, we arrived in Miami on time. At least I think we did. I don’t have a watch–or a phone for that matter, so all I know that Florida is three hours ahead of Washington time and Haiti is only two hours ahead of Washington time<—I find this strange because when looking on a map, Haiti seems to be out past Florida a ways. 

I spent $12.00 on a huge breakfast and I wasn’t even hungry! However, I knew I needed to fill up because we wouldn’t be eating anything on the plane from Miami to Port-au-Prince. We kind of just wandered around until boarding time. The layover didn’t seem very long. Alex almost lost her backpack. This was a major problem. Considering it contained her passport and money. She thought she had left it in the bathroom, where we had attempted to freshen up. Thankfully, I found it just under a seat where we were waiting at our terminal. 

I was expecting that the minute we arrived  at Sea-Tac i would start getting the butterflies. I guess God answered my prayer for peace.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to sit alone. Oh, I kind of freaked out because the airline attendant forced me to check my bag. He said there was not anymore room in the overhead compartments, but that was a blatant lie. When we boarded there was plenty of room. As you can imagine, a plane to Haiti isn’t exactly one packed like sardines. 

I sat in-between Luke and Jeff. For me, the plane ride was pretty reflective. I wasn’t sure what my reaction to landing would look like. Culture shock is unpredictable. The plane ride passed by fairly quickly. I didn’t have a window seat–we had the center three seats–but I went across the aisle to look out the window as we closed in on the islands.

There was a lot of turbulence  on the plane. I almost became sick to my stomach.

At immigration (customs) we had a band welcoming us. I had my visa stamped for the first time 🙂The airport  itself was COMPLETE MADNESS.  I can’t quite explain it. Picture the baggage claim at Sea-Tac, without the baggage carousels. Imagine piles of luggage that all looks the same and attendants who don’t speak English.   

I kind of had a minor panic attack when I didn’t find my checked bag. I didn’t know where else to look and I didn’t want to wander far from my team. On the other hand, I had ten days of clothing in one carry-on sized bag. Jeff and Terry told me to sit and drink water. The guys found my bag. We finally collected all of our luggage and walked outside to the crazy parking lot. We found  the infamous Windy with a little truck. He’s so cool. While Jeff and Terry went to go get the rental car we waited with him. We stood around and he asked us all which languages we spoke. Man I wish I could speak French! That is the second best option to Creole.

We waited about an hour in the scorching hot sun for our rental. When it came at last we were finally on our way to Heartline Ministries. The boys drove in the back of the truck with our luggage. They were crammed!! Eleven girls crammed into a small SUV. The streets of Haiti are so crazy. All dirt roads, no lanes, a lot of honking and motor bikes weaving in and out of cars. I am glad we have awesome drivers who know their way around.

We had to stop at the Deli Mart to get water, Cokes, cheese, bread, peanut butter, and Jelly. The doors were armed with  three guards with rifles. I was intimidated  and very fearful.  As you can imagine we stuck out like a sore thumb wherever we went. Most of the group stayed outside. No one with back packs were allowed in. Luke, Geoff, Jeff, Esther (a translator), and I went in.

(At this point I had been in much need of a restroom for about two hours). 

Thanks to our skilled drivers we made it to Heartline Guest House. We were greeted  first by “Larry” the huge saint Bernard/Mastiff dog.  The place is very nice. The entrance contains a little gift shop and a small office with a phone available for us to use if we want to call home. From the office there is an open foyer with a kitchen off to the left and the dining room on the right. There are two rooms behind the kitchen and up the stairs is a sitting room, two bunk rooms, a bathroom, and a door that leads to the patio and roof. Each bunk room is named a Fruit of the Spirit. The girls bedroom is appropriately name ‘self-control.’

We dropped our stuff off in our rooms and then had a little snack of PB+J sandwiches on rolls. This was around 4:30 pm. Before dinner at 6:00 pm Melissa, one of the people who runs the house, gave us a little orientation. She gave us the whole shebang: Dinner at 6:00 pm, breakfast at 7:00 am, don’t leave the fans on when you are not in your room because electricity isn’t cheap. Feel free to use the phone, buy something in the gift shop, laundry can be done for $5 etc.

Dinner was amazing! Fettucini Alfredo, salad, bread, and ice-cold water!<–a special treat. I definitely have a new appreciation for ice. It is precious here. Heartline is pretty packed right now. there were forty people for dinner. Our group claimed the balcony/deck.

Oh! before dinner we went on the roof. Gorgeous view! Banana trees, sugar cane, and mountains/jungle for as far as the eye can see. We are already making plans to get up early one day and watch the sunrise. 

We ate dinner and then had a meeting. We discussed exactly what supplies we will need at our first day of VBS tomorrows and practiced our Noah Skit, and worship. 

Day 3 Monday, July 23rd: First Day of Vacation Bible School

Even if there were one-hundred fans in our room. I don’t think it could get down to [a bearable] room temperature. I am  sleeping on the top of one of the bunk beds. I should have claimed a bottom bunk. I forgot that heat rises. Heat, flannel sheets, and a stuffy room make for a hot sticky, and uncomfortable night. The way my fan is positioned, whenever it is on and I  am  laying down, my mosquito net blows over me. I didn’t sleep at all, even with the sleeping aid. 

I am really enjoying the food. Breakfast tasted AMAZING! Pineapple, PB+J, oatmeal, and mango juice. Even though I don’t normally, I went for it at Luke’s suggestion. It tasted soo good! We had to hurry up and eat because our drivers came to pick us  up around 7:20 am. Luke, Emily, Samuel, Jeff Clark, and I rode in the back of the truck with our supplies. Windy was right. Sunday the Haitians are not out much, but Monday, wow! The streets are crazy! Horns honking, colorful tap-taps pack streets to the max and motorcycles weaving in and out everywhere. Every street corner sidewalk is full of stands selling everything from motor parts to bananas.

Arriving at the orphanage was pretty orphanage was pretty awesome. I knew it would be. But I didn’t know what to expect. The place is small, but the hearts of everyone there are huge. We unloaded our stuff and the truck drivers went off to pick up the kids from Cite Soleil.

The first thing we did was pass out the yellow, green, and purple visors. We chose different colors so that we could [attempt to] separate them by age groups, but once the city kids arrived it became [even more] hectic. Everyone was handed whatever color was available. 

I helped draw a rainbow and rain clouds to help illustrate the story of Noah for the drama. I grabbed a translator to help me write forty days and forty nights in Creole.

A little bit after 8:15 am Emily, Samuel and I started worship. It went really well. We did every song twice. Once in English and once in Creole. Then, when the kids from Cite Soleil  arrived, we sang again. After worship was finished, we began skits. These went OK. Rachel played Noah, Luke played God, CLaire, Kaki, Alex and Kenzie played the sinful people. Luke also chose eight kids from the audience to wear foam animal masks and go ‘on’ the boat. (Our large drawing of the ark.

After our drama we ate a late breakfast/snack with the kids. Their snacks and breakfast treats are interesting. We ate noodles for our “snack.” For lunch we ate a full plate of spaghetti noodles with onions and a little bit of what I imagined to be tomato paste–this is also known as ‘Haitian Spaghetti.’ The Clarks are paying for all the food for the three days we are doing VBS at the orphanage in Port-au-Prince: Orphelinat de l’Organisation d’Aide aux Enfants en Difficulte en Haiti(ORORAEDH).  It is so sad to know that normally they may not even have one meal a day. 

When you see those big eyes and those skinny limbs, your heart wrenches and you never quite see things the same. You think twice about pouring water down the drain and throwing away food because you’re SO full.  “Starving” is a word thrown around way too loosely. Starving is not knowing where your next meal is coming from–or if there is one coming at all. You become grateful for basic needs being met. You feel guilty when worrying over things that really don’t matter in the big picture. After returning home, one thing I struggled to learn–and am still learning–is that, God doesn’t want us to feel guilty about pleasures– big or small. Instead, we should count them as blessings.

“[Gratitude] turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

~Melody Beattie

No one proved this quote to be more true than the Haitians.

Random dance parties were always a hit. I’m so glad we allowed room in our agenda for things to go haywire. The kids taught us more than we ever planned to teach them.

Sometime during the day we did our crafts. Because we decided not to do rotations and the amount of kids we only did one of the three animal crafts we had prepared for today. It was pretty chaotic. We ran out of paper plates for the lions and so I had to cut out circles from the big roll of paper in place of paper plates. It was really fun for the kids even if it was a little stressful for us.

The kids colored animals they thought should be on the ark. The beach balls Luke and Kenzie brought were fun, but they didn’t last long. A couple of kids from Cite Soleil deflated them and tried to put them under their clothes to steal away from the other kids. Pastor Silar intervened and we received them back.

I loved the kids clinging to me all day. They are so precious. all the Haitians that I have met so far have such a sense of community and passion for their people. I wish the U.S was more like that.

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Around 2:00ish we ate lunch. I wasn’t super hungry. However, I felt like it was rude to refuse Windy and Pastor Silar’s offer. After Madame Silar had been slaving in the kitchen to prepare a meal for well over 100 people, it was impossible to decline such delicious food. Luke and I split a delicious plate of rice, beans, and chicken. As a special treat they went out and bought several flats of soda. Luke said it tasted like cough syrup.

It is really weird, even though on this trip we have gone long periods of time in between meals, hardly once have I felt super hungry. I wish there was a way to provide plenty of food daily for everyone. The children’s arms and legs are so thin and knobby. Some are bloated. Terry said some of them surely have worms.

After arriving back to Heartline back from the orphanage, we changed clothes, rested, ate dinner, and debriefed after dinner.

Day 4-Tuesday, July 24th 2013

I am guessing I only received 1-2 hours of sleep during the night. It stinks, but somehow I made it through the day, just like I did Sunday and Monday.

Ti Papi, our driver, (related in some way to Windy) was delayed because his alarm didn’t go off. He came up to Mr. Clark apparently and apologized. Music+Laughter+closeness= many fun car rides. I am enjoying living on the edge. It is funny how we’ve had really close shaves with other drivers on the road, but have yet to witness an accident. The Haitians sure love to use their car horns. 

Once again when we arrived at Pastor Silar’s orphanage we were greeted by all 60+ kids at once. I was greeted by Clifford in an interesting way. He came up to me, placed his hand over my face and held it there for a few seconds and let a smile spread across his face. Clifford is sixteen years old, loves to dance, sing, and take pictures with his pals and all of the girls on the team. He is learning English and French in school and it was nice being able to chat with him. He knew just enough that we could ask each other more than ‘what is your name?’

Emily, Samuel and I didn’t do worship today. The kids sang a little bit with Pastor Silar. We went to a “soccer field” A.K.A an empty lot down the street and handed out some cleats and equipment to the older kids. All of them play like pros. Except the girls and some of the younger children. I am so glad we were able to give them soccer balls to keep. Some kids who weren’t from the orphanage wandered in off the street as well. They wanted to play Haitians vs. Americans, and with only seven or so people on each team.I side-swiped someone and took a nasty tumble. I scraped up my knee pretty bad. Well, just enough that it bled a little. The kids acted extremely concerned about it and Terry cleaned it up for me immediately. Infections are always a risk, no matter how small the cut. 

Another long day finished. The day doesn’t end after VBS.

Day 5 Wednesday, July 25th- Final Day of VBS at ORORAEDH

I now love passion fruit juice, oatmeal, and fresh mango.

Tap-Tap

The game was long. It might have lasted even longer. However, some random guy on a motorcycle rode onto the field pretty fast and within a split second everyone involved in the soccer game began yelling. David, one of our translators took control and said we need to get everyone off the field now. Nobody questioned him. I took hold of the little girls huddled around me and we shuffled off the field. Before everything was interrupted, the girls on our team were painted fingernails. I think they were more delighted with the opportunity to paint OURS. I had braced myself for nail polish to be chaotic. For the most part, it went pretty smoothly.

We walked back to the orphanage and began what we’d been doing the past two days: sing songs until the Cite Soleil kids arrived with Windy, Wendell, on of the drivers, and the new school teacher.

Near the end of our time, Cliff and Peter decided to put on a hilarious skit for us all. Peter came out in an awesome costume consisting of face paint, a straw hat, shorts, and a checkered shirt. he started talking in Creole and French. Clifford Joined him later. They soon had everyone laughing hysterically. I never really figured out what they were saying, but the way they played their characters made it very funny.

We came home, showered, sprawled out all over, ate dinner, debriefed, hung out more, and then went to bed.

Today I realized that actions speak louder than words. The language barrier must be broken down by finding new ways to communicate.

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“I’m showing them how I feel cuz love is more than a noun or a verb it’s absurd”-Ready or Not                               Britt Nicole/Lecrae

If I speak in tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol, If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain NOTHING.

1st Corinthians 13: 1-3

27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:27

26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Matthew 6:26-27

What to Write When You Can’t Write

I’m going to cut straight to the chase. I hate writing prompts. “What is your earliest childhood memory?” or, my personal favorite,“Write about a memory associated with a certain smell.”Um, what?!With all the books and websites out there dedicated to overcoming writer’s block, I’ve found very few helpful.  Not only are these prompts unhelpful, they’re also constricting. Instead of using the bank loaded with our own ideas, prompts tend to produce cookie cutter results. Where does all the extra dough go?! With roughly 15,700,000 search results for “writing prompts” on Google alone, I expect more original and fresh ideas. Writing often feels more complicated than it actually is. Depending on who you’re writing for–yourself, an audience, or both– you shouldn’t feel the constant need to crank out a novel every time you sit down with a piece of paper. Every bestseller, freelancer, blogger, and journal-keeper had to start somewhere. So, instead of suggesting cliche writing prompts, I’m going to take you on a trip back to the basics. 

I’ve come a long way in my writing–at least I’d like to think so–but one thing I know for sure is that I still have an incredibly long way to go. My starting point included lists of my favorite foods and games of MASH from long, hot, and non-air conditioned bus rides to camp.  My journalism journey–if you even consider lists and games of MASH journalism–moved from the Little League team to the All Star team. I waved goodbye to “listography,” and in ninth grade  I committed to being more consistent. I wrote down as many details, big and small, that I could remember from each day. Although I was fairly consistent, the amount of content in my entries varied. I found that when I attempted to write lengthy and wordy entries, I ended up writing LESS. I had to face the fact that some days, my most exciting activity might very well be having a dissection in science class.

Moral of the story? There is no shame in lists and “Dear Diary” entries. Trust me, inspiration doesn’t fall from the sky the way rain falls in Seattle. That would be waaaay to easy.

What to Write When You Can’t Write

1. Lists– lists and sub-lists are great ways to brainstorm.

2. Thought bubbles.

3. One line a day. This can be useful if you feel you don’t have time to keep a journal. I often leave space in mine to go back and expand on entries. Record something such as a Facebook status or something that will trigger your memory when you go back. Try and be specific. Just writing “I ate Cheerios for breakfast today” isn’t going to be of much assistance to you if you plan on going back and expanding.

4. The Method (Writing Analytically by David Rosenwasser). This is an exercise my English 101 teacher in college had us do often. This really helps turn gears. I don’t read poetry, but we had an in class essay where we read a poem and analyzed what we read. The Method asks four questions. 1) What repeats? 2) What goes with what? (strands) 3) What is opposed to what? (binaries/opposites) 4) What doesn’t fit? (anomalies). For all of these questions, ask the “SO WHAT?” question. It sounds like homework, but trust me, it is a really helpful tool.

5. Your mom’s grocery list.

6. Book reviews/reports/summaries.

7. Letters. There is nothing I love more than receiving a handwritten letter. I’m sure you know someone who would love to receive one.

8. Stories. If you want to make yourself known, sign up for a free account at cowbird.com, it’s a pretty awesome website.

9. Your school schedule.

10. Take notes in class. This is just a good habit. It doesn’t necessarily spark creativity, but repetitive learning skills improve memory.

What to Read When You Can’t Write

1. Garner’s Modern American Usage. The title is sounds big and scary, but it is a WONDERFUL reference. If you’re experiencing writer’s block, you might as well take the time you’re not using to write to improve your grammar.

2. Word Power Made Easy by Norman Lewis. Etymology at it’s best. Great for advancing vocabulary.

3. Books, books, and more books. If you don’t read, you’re writing is lacking its full potential.

4. The Newspaper. If I were you, I would choose something more wholesome than the Seattle Times. But, that’s just me. Flipboard is a great FREE app if you’re on the go often.

5. Word Dynamo (dynamo.dictionary.com). This is what nerds like me do over Christmas Break: expand their vocabulary count to and estimated +30,000 words.

6. Magazines. Try out Relevant: Faith, Culture & Intentional Living

7. Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing by Mignon Fogarty. This is a great book and very easy to read. I have yet to finish it!

8. Read a picture. I bet you didn’t know you could do that! “A picture is worth a thousand words”~Napolean Bonaparte.

Where to Go When You Can’t Write

(Breaks in recurring schedules are very relieving)

1. NOT Facebook.

For those in the greater Seattle area:

2. Green Lake Park. I went here just the other day. It had been forever since I’d been there. Which is a shame considering it is only about a fifteen minute drive from my house.

3. Alki Beach. If you have a lot of time on your hands, this place is awesome.

4. St. Edwards Park

5. Bothell Landing

6. Seward Park

7. A coffee shop. I find inspiration in listening, talking, and observing. The Aloha Cafe in Edmonds or The Lyon’s Den in Bothell are ideal–unfortunately for me only one of these two is convenient. Because Starbucks is overrated, just more convenient.

I don’t splurge very often, but when I do, I consider the small indulgences as money well spent. If you’ve never owned a Moleskine notebook, I highly recommend investing in one. I usually use college ruled spiral notebooks, but these often give me motivation, especially if I’m close to wrapping up a notebook. I’m sort of obsessed with gel pens as well. They bring a whole new meaning to “color the rainbow.” (I especially enjoy using them for my school planner). They add some excitement. My #1 tip is to keep a notepad with you at all times. There is nothing worse than letting a great idea slip through your finger tips. My #2 Tip is to share your writing–whatever type of writing it may be– with other people. Tip #3 Not everyone scrapbooks. I am one of those who does not. instead, I tape memorabilia into my journals with photo adhesives and/or scotch tape. You’ll be glad you did! Last, but certainly not least, Tip #4! If you’re writing for an audience, big or small, DO NOT cater your words solely to their tastes. Many people try so hard to keep up with the newest trends in the media and whatnot that their writing loses its passion. Especially non-writers. Your writing probably has a bigger effect on people than you think. We are often our biggest critics. Every expert in any field of work began with the basics. Don’t forget to review them!

P.S. I need to take my own advice more often.

I hope this inspires you!

Kayla

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee, and More Coffee!

According to Wikipedia,  since its grand opening in 1987, Starbucks has whet the parched tongues of coffee consumers by launching an average of 2 new coffee shops,  every single day. There are now 20,891 of these coffeehouses in 62 countries. Almost half of these are in the United States. That’s a lot of coffee floating around. I live in Seattle, where coffee is an idol, and people just can’t seem to get enough. There are enough coffee shops–not limited to mainstream chains–within a five-mile radius of my house to fulfill any avid coffee lover’s dreams.

Unlike the average high school or college student, I refuse to drink more than one cup of coffee a day–with exceptions– and have never paid for an extra shot. I pretend to like drip coffee, when in reality, I always stir in a bit of hot coco mix and powdered creamer. I was convinced coffee had more of a psychological effect than anything else. Until I went to Starbucks with a friend one Tuesday. At four O’clock in the afternoon. The problem is not coffee at four o’clock in the afternoon, the problem is the caffeine. I ordered a caramel macchiato! My friend on the other hand, ordered a straight drip coffee. Now that was a sight to see.

Regardless of the insane numbers of Starbucks populating the area, the one I suggested we go to was probably the most crowded. That was a bad decision on my part. However, we successfully found a table. There is something about the atmosphere of a coffee shop that is inviting–be it crowded or not. It’s not the coffee that makes it a good time, it’s the people you’re with and the conversations you have. Just give me some spare time and I could talk and listen for hours on end. The jokes, the laughter, the honesty, the memories, and even the unplanned call from the mother of the kid you’re supposed to be babysitting, they are all things which make a good cup of coffee a good cup of coffee.

Rian Aditia once said, “There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee”— (Click to tweet)

This is my exhortation to you: make some time in your schedule, go grab a friend, and drink some good coffee 🙂

Now be filled, and go grab some coffee!

Much love,

Kayla

Me and Mom

Me and Mom I’ve been trying to think of the perfect gift for my mother. I am quite aware I missed the Mother’s Day boat. Every Mother’s day I wonder, how any gift could ever match up to  anything my mom has lovingly sacrificed for me? Well, that would be one hard gift to find.This is not to say you shouldn’t give your mom something for Mother’s Day. Rather, just remember that mothers are something to be celebrated every single day! They’re not babysitters who go home after their hours are completed–lucky you!

It is crazy to think that in just a few crazy weeks, I’ll be graduated from High School with 30 college credits. I’m convinced I couldn’t have made it through without my mother.  I bore the near impossible task of writing 100 words about both my parents in a tribute for graduation day. I could write a thousand about them both.  I know I’m going to bawl my eyes out. Waterproof mascara is still on my graduation day shopping list. 

My mom has been there for the roughly 1,600 days of school I’ve made it through thus far. And no not just to pick me up from the bus stop.  In fact, I rode on a school bus for the first time just this past weekend and it was nothing special. From day one, she has been my teacher. Kindergarten through twelfth grade, she’s been my favorite. Without  my mom, I wouldn’t be having an awesome graduation party. There are twenty-five days and counting until graduation. My graduation party is this weekend. I told my mom way back when that I had no idea what I wanted I just didn’t want it to be an expensive extravaganza. Based off of my vague suggestions she’s been planning menus, ordering floral arrangements, and making Costco runs. She says ‘Oh Kayla I hope it’s what you wanted and you’re not disappointed.’  She ordered my graduation announcements and has been collecting items and pictures for my ‘senior shrine’ to be displayed at the senior dessert and after the graduation ceremony. I swear the only thing I’ve done so far is stuff envelopes. She reminded me of every yearbook deadline, although she knew I received every reminder e-mail. She is quite aware I have been putting too many things on my ‘will do tomorrow’ list.

My mom has been at my side through every health crisis and surgery–well OK so it was just one surgery. I’ve had multiple MRI’s, EEG’s, CT scans, heart monitors, you name it I’ve had it etc. She packed my lunches for summer camp when I was on a 15 carbohydrates a day diet in hopes that it would hamper my absence epilepsy episodes. She has also been there for every celebration and birthday party. She attended  every choir performance and every piano recital. She’s gone with me to pick out every spring formal dress. She attended nearly every t-ball, basketball, softball, and soccer game. She washes my sheets and cleans my room before I arrive home from every camp and mission’s trips–trust me, it’s the best thing ever. She even made my first Barbie cake.

My mom has been my listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.  She’s the greatest girlfriend ever. I can borrow her clothes, share secrets and only with her can I laugh until I cry while watching Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock in the Proposal.

She’s proofread nearly every report, essay, and analysis I’ve ever written, starting with my first book reports and simple five paragraph Academic essays. To this day, nearly every paper I write, she still reads— consequently, every single essay she hasn’t proofread has had the most grammatical errors.  She let me stay up until midnight reading chapter books, but thankfully, she also made sure  I survived every math lesson. She explained every problem  in every way she knew how. She tells me all the time, “your best is different from everyone else’s best. If your best is a C then so be it.” Believe me, it’s not always what I want to hear, but it’s always exactly what I need to hear.

Somebody told me the other day that I am very patient and tolerant, and that it must be because I have six brothers and one sister. I first took it as a compliment, and then I thought “Who am I kidding?! Clearly, this guy has never met my mom before!”

There’s a joke in our house, especially between me and mom, that ‘nothing is ever lost until your mom can’t find it.’ If I complained about my brain being elsewhere, I’m pretty sure she could redirect my focus.

 

Proverbs 31 Woman

 My mom is a Proverbs 31 woman. She spends her rare moments of solitude reading the Bible. She has her priorities straight. She has hair that would make Marilyn Monroe jealous and can rock red lipstick more than any other forty-two year-old woman I know. I sure hope I inherited those great genes!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; 

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 30: 30-31

Me and Mom
Me and Mom

Mothers, we take advantage of them all the time. They do our laundry, cook our meals, remind us to scrub behind our ears, and pick-up our rooms. Even more importantly, they hold our hand as we crawl, walk, and run this crazy race called life. Whoever the mother is in your life, don’t forget to tell them how much they mean to you.

I love you mom!

When Everything Is Crashing Down

dumbledore

Part 1

I’ve been thinking. A lot. As I watch our country fall apart, I look around and search for the faith our country was built on. A few favorite quotes come to mind.

“If we ever forget that we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under”- Ronald Reagan 

“God allows in his wisdom what he could prevent by his power” – Graham Cooke

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on”- Thomas Jefferson

There is so much truth in these words.

These days, I cannot say anything on social media about God without getting a bunch of feedback. Mostly negative. From both my Christian and non-Christian friends. For a long while, I sat back, shut my mouth, and ignored things I felt were ‘controversial.’ Over time, I learned that just because I shut up no one else would. You’re either for something or against it. Christians shouldn’t be silent, but no one should be hateful.

99.999999% the few debates I either indirectly or directly become involved in, don’t go so hot. 99.9999999% what I am trying to say doesn’t exactly come out how I intended. By the time it comes out my readers or listeners are crawling all over me. The latest accusation from an ‘acquaintance’ who is a self-proclaimed atheist  was in regards to all that happened over the country last week. . He wanted a factual response. Some believers I know are great at proving things with bits and pieces of science and whatnot. I on the other hand am not.In this particular case I was commenting on another friend’s status-who by the way ended up deleting his status AND comment thread. Christianity is a relationship with God. God created us to be with him.

Let me just make this clear. AGAIN. I’m writing this because I care. I have such a huge treasure. One that I can share over and over and over again! We’re not all that we knock ourselves to be. Our sins separate us from God.That SHOULD be obvious by now. But When thousands of years later, lets face it, we aren’t doing so well at learning from our mistakes.  When I say ‘we’ I mean ‘me’ and ‘you’. I’m not trying to exclude myself.God wiped out sin, but he ALLOWED it back into the world after he gave us a glorious second chance. God forgives all sins “70 X 7” times. He gave us what we wanted. Free will. Sin was our choice. Of course God didn’t leave us destined for hell as we deserved. On the contrary he provided the ultimate sacrifice. More is never enough for us. Those who choose the gift of life he gives us are saved from judgement forever.. Or we can shove it back in God’s face. At this point in the convo I’m typically cut off, so thanks for reading on.  I don’t have to sit home with a checklist of things to do because I’m not going to get it all right. Without Jesus, I would never be able to live up to standards outlined in the Bible. Sins cannot be removed by good deeds.

“But what about the old testament? It says there… We don’t stone people, We don’t eat crawfish, people made animal sacrifices”……..the list goes on and on and on. My small group discussed this whole OT ‘So what?’ question. So “what about it?”. In the old testament these ‘rules and regulations’ were made because believers didn’t have any other choice. Let me elaborate. Jesus hadn’t come yet. Jesus is the Ultimate Sacrifice who paid the price of our sins. Mine, yours multiplied by everyone on this planet. He bore the weight of it all. Paying the price for sin Jesus died and rose again.  All those things were their SECOND CHANCE which, in the New Testament is Jesus. If you’re still with me, can we just revel in the fact that we, as undeserving as we are, can have what nobody else has. Everyone who trusts in him has eternal life. The gift that supersedes all riches (:

I’m not going to ‘act’ smart and pretend I know why everything happened in Boston, MA and Waco, TX. I’m not in anyway trying to justify anything. I’m saying God does whatever it takes to be near us. Is Jesus dying on the cross not enough evidence or proof that he loves us? Rest in the knowledge that no matter how bad we screw up, he will keep on forgiving us. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again……I think you get the picture.

In my college bible study ‘Ignite’ today-it was my first time- a fellow believer from Egypt, said something quite profound. Something that believers have to constantly remind themselves. He said with a strong accent, “I have three citizen-ships. Egypt, America, and Heaven.” How cool is that?!

Life with Jesus starts now and lasts forever.

G.O.S.P.E.L- The Greatest Story Ever Told

Kayla

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Thank you for your response. ✨

Since I’ve Been Gone

First off, to all my followers and viewers, I’m terribly sorry I’ve been so inconsistent in posting. I knew right off the bat consistency would be a struggle for me. Don’t get me wrong though, I have nearly 30 postings in the work! My creativity has not dulled.  I’m awakening from the lethargy and sickness that Spring Break wrought-at least that is my hope. My new quarterly school schedule has me up at sunset twice a week for English 102.  As for all of my other time, I am somewhat flexible. In other words, it has me easily procrastinating on every other area of my life. As of right now, there are 46 days, 21 hours, and 12 minutes until graduation. Yes I have been counting since pretty much the beginning of the second semester.  Some say “don’t do that.” Well, I finally know what I THINK I want to do so I’m ready to be done. I have yet to meet someone who says they want to go back and do High School all over again. It’s been fun, but frankly, I’m quite done.

Senior year has consisted of a lot of firsts. My life up to the point has consisted of many changes. Mostly good. I’ve turned eighteen, my brother turned has started driving, while another brother lost his first tooth. I’ve relapsed once again into my yearbook duties after a nice long break. I had my first last Spring Formal at the lovely Canal in Seattle, partnered with a very awkward first last senior recognition. And no, I was not the cause of this awkwardness. Cap and Gown pictures have been taken and everything is official. Senior sneak is coming up.  I obtained my first official non-driver’s license ID-you may be wondering, what good is such a thing? Unfortunately, it is useful in many instances and more convenient than carrying around a passport everywhere. Some major decisions are up in the air which at times has been quite taxing. And as my friends like to say I am “sleep exhausted.” Keep persisting friends! I’ve made it this far and intend to see through to the  end. Until then, Keep Calm and Graduate! (;

Keep Calm 1

Kayla

Shoes

Feet
This quote and picture inspired me to write “Shoes.” Photographer unknown.

Shoes speak.  Shoes define each and every individual.  Shoes tell the story of where people are going and the places they’ve been. Shoes show the wear and tear of each journey. Shoes display the hardships, the trials, the good times, and the bad. Shoes show where and how each occupant has attempted to make repairs when times became tough; these repairs are evident in patches, in clumsy stitches, and crisp white laces.  Behind  every brand name and every sandal, slipper, sneaker, and stiletto is a story.

What about that person without shoes? How is his or her story told? Their story is told in the cuts, scrapes, blisters, broken toenails and callus upon callus. Their story is told by the layers of dust, dirt, mud, and sand which coat every inch of tough leathery skin. No one questions a person without shoes. They’ve walked down every path, battled every storm, crossed every valley, and climbed every mountain. The person without shoes has more stories than the person with a closet full of them.

On average, every American buys 8 pairs of shoes each year. 8 PAIRS. What do your shoes say about you? Does your story simply say you are returning to the mall for yet another pair to add to your collection?

P is for Purple

Today is “Purple For Epilepsy Day.” I love purple. My favorite childhood classic book-Little Women by Louisa May Alcott- is bound with a purple cover. I have a purple raincoat, purple bible, purple water-bottle, purple toothbrush, purple, purple, purple, purple….. I think understand the picture. Only recently,within the past couple of years, did I actually connect the color purple with epilepsy. At this point I can imagine you are thinking, “So what?” So, I have epilepsy. I’ve thought about writing a post-or a few pages in my journal- for some time, but I didn’t want to come off as someone looking for attention or be labeled ‘epileptic.’ Is it obvious yet I have a severe pride issue? OK, I thought so. (I’m so glad God blessed me with the gift of sarcasm, otherwise I’d be a mess.) Anyways, I put off writing about my epilepsy for purely selfish reasons. Then, I realized that there is easily a gazillion other people, NOT sharing their stories-whether health related or not- for exactly the same reasons. This is why I’m asking YOU to share your stories.

OK, hold the phone right there. A story or testimony doesn’t have to be something heart-wrenching. I’ve seen to many people demean their own stories simply because they thought it wasn’t “moving” or “shocking.”Heck, the most relatable stories are in the form of “little” everyday problems.I.e.

Person 1: You received a D on you Spanish test?

Person 2: Dude me too. 

If you have struggled with serious issues in the past or are struggling currently, here is my message to you: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. That thought is a lie. Only you can make the choice to believe it.  Keeping your fears and feelings bottled up is the worst decision you could possibly make. If you don’t believe me, believe Dumbledore when he says “Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.” Trust me, Albus Dumbledore doesn’t lie.

I’ve had epilepsy for over ten years. It’s definitely a reality, but it doesn’t define who I am. What defines me is how I respond to the ups and downs. The hospital visits, the sick days, and the days when I ask “Why me?” And then I look around me. I could be so much worse off. I have so many things to be thankful for. Best of all I love knowing that no matter what kind of situation God puts me in, it’s only to refine me! We should bear these challenges-even something as insignificant as a Spanish test- knowing that there is definitely a to be learned so that next time, you can do better. If you think you can fight this battle on your own, good luck with that. I’ve tried and failed. It’s easy to look strong on the outside and inwardly destroy yourself. When people tell you “Wow you are so strong!” Things begin going to your head. Society tells us it’s not okay to be weak. I’d like you to consider otherwise.

Remember, there are always consequences for going against the grain. Humbleness isn’t a trait valued by most. I don’t know about you, but when people ask me how I’m doing, I enjoy testing their sincerity by telling them the flat out truth. I may say “Well actually this week kinda sucked.” I know people who I know are going through hell and still respond with “oh I’m doing just dandy.” Sorry to break it to you, but nobody’s perfect.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions,in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Wear purple and share your story! I want to hear it and I’m sure others do too!

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